Submit
There has recently been a survey that suggests that more young woman are saying they are wanting to submit to there husbands when they get married. There are many who would say that this is old fashioned and goes against the grain of women who have pushed to be equal with men in all things. I have had many conversations with my mum about it as well. She is of the view that marriage is an equal partnership and that she never submitted to dad. It is something we never agree and are happy to leave it at that. But when I heard this subject being talked about on a daytime chat show I was slightly surprised at the attitude of those on the panel. They were very clearly saying they felt this was a backward step in society rather than a step forward. It is interesting to me that divorce rates only ever increase and the breakdown in a relationship happens all to easily. The family unit seems to no longer be viewed as something special and precious. But rather something that is a bit disposable that won’t last forever. There are so many families made up of children with different fathers and no real father figure for any of them. We also often hear about the rise in domestic violence and violence in general against women. And whilst I know that this is multi faceted problem with no one cause I am left wondering if women submitting to their husbands has something to do with it. It certainly seems to me as though we have stepped off the path of God’s way of family living which seems to have had impact on the whole of society. How many times do we hear the term misogyny used when talking about mens behaviour towards women. Could it be that men are, rightly or wrongly, exerting authority over women because they are not submissive. Hear me right hear as I am not advocating any sort of abuse or violence. Nor am I saying that are inadequate or lesser to men, we are all equal under God. But I am saying I think this dynamic is something worth thinking about and pondering on in the light of the way our society seems to be. You see once we step off God’s path and move away from what He says we loose our way and of course the more more keeping stepping away the more we loose sight of God and the worse the problems become. I realise that It might seem that I am simplifying a complex problem, but I have often found the answer is simple it is the application that is hard. To me it seems worth thinking about, so lets start.
Think about the word submit means.
- Give in to authority or power.
- Present for consideration
Syns.
- Yield, give way/in, back down, capitulate, surrender, accept, comply, conform.
- Put forward, present, offer, proffer, tender, propose, suggest.
Unfortunately we have come to believe that to submit to something or someone is weak and often brought about by violence or bullying but this is not what the bible talks about.The bible is very clear when it says……
Wives submit to your own husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands love your wives and do no be bitter towards them.
Children obey your parents in all things for this is pleasing to the Lord.
Fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.
Colossians 3:18-21
We can clearly see in these verses that God intend there to a correct order within the family unlit. This is not meant to be a hierarchy where a man is put over females but it does mean that a man has to accept leadership in the family. This same order can be found in the Church, we accept that Christ is the head and that He leads us with a spirit of self giving and devotion to His church. And so the husband must lead the family from a place of mutual respect for his wive. Submission can never be demanded or required by one human being over another. But rather comes for everyone taking their divinely ordered place in any relationship. Placing trust in the word o God and being willing to grow and learn in relationships. A husband must be submitted to God so that he is a right relationship with Him. The wive must then submit to the leadership of the husband and yet remaining equal to him under God. When this is in place the relationship has the ability to grow and flourish bringing out the very best in each person. Submitting is not a bad thing that demeans a person but rather is a place of growth.
Of course there are many that would view this as foolishness or something that is unattainable. Maybe it seems like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted but unless we become willing to try to change then I am afraid that the issue will only worsen. We can’t take responsibility for the whole of our society but we can institute change in our own relationships. To me it is a good thing that young people are beginning to see that there is something not quite right in the status quo of marriages and that are wanting to try to do something about it. And of course the starting point of the change needed has to be that we submit to God and seek to do His will.
Maybe take a look at Ephesians 5:15-33. Maybe meditate on them to understand what is have Godly relationships with those around us. We have of course focused on relationship within a marriage but these same things can be applied in all our relationships.